Growing Up Graves

When transfer student Patricia “Freddie” Niles first spotted Ronald Graves at Harwood Union High School in rural Vermont, she immediately declared to a friend that she would marry him. Years later, she did just that.

Freddie and Ronald built a home together—one of four on a dead-end dirt road—in Fayston, VT. In the bucolic town that had neither a stoplight nor its own zip code, the couple raised three daughters: Eliza, Laura, and Lindsey. “It was a very quiet, very wholesome upbringing,” says Laura Graves. “We were always outside from the time we were very small.”

Not the typical middle child, Laura was a bit of a tomboy and quite bold. She was one of just 15 students in her elementary school class and often shared a classroom with her older sister, of whom she was fiercely protective. She also idolized her father. “I always wanted to do what my dad was doing, whether that was shaving my face or working with tools,” says Laura.

The Graves grew up with a number of animals and, with land to spare, one day Freddie spotted a classified ad for a barn in the local newspaper. “It was in the absolutely free section, but you had to go and dismantle it,” explains Laura.

"So, board by board, my parents took it down and board by board they put it back up on our property—and that is how we built our barn."

Shortly thereafter, some family friends offered to trade two ponies for the Graves' washer and dryer. Delighted at the proposition, Ronald accepted, and so began the family’s foray into horse ownership. Laura became a 4-H member in both the horse and gardening programs, and it wasn’t long before riding turned into more than a hobby for her. “I remember going to the Eastern States Exposition and they had this big saddle seat competition going on. It was a rush to witness the excitement, the shiny horses, and walk through the stables to see how impeccably everything was cared for,” she says. “So, early on when I was probably 10, I decided to start taking some riding lessons.”

Always one to dream big, Laura was inspired by the family’s annual trip to New York City to see the Big Apple Circus as a child. “I wanted to be a magician,” she recalls. But, by the time she reached the sixth grade, Laura had committed that she would ride for the United States Equestrian Team (USET). The road to the USET was not without its twists and turns, however. Though she took many advanced placement classes, Laura discovered that book learning was not for her.

“It became very real that if I had to go one more year, the possibility of me graduating was slim,” she says.

So, with just a few more credits needed, she graduated a year early and, having had a job since 14, Laura’s parents gave her the summer to figure out what she would do next. She decided to travel to Costa Rica to work with an American woman who ran an English riding school there. “I lived with a host family, went to language school and learned to speak Spanish, and also helped to run the riding school,” Laura says.

While her path remained unclear during her young adulthood, horses were always a constant. During high school, Laura competed her Quarter Horse, Sunny—whom she still has—up to his potential. In 2002, after Sunny was retired, Laura and her mother purchased the six-month-old foal they came to call “Itty Bitty Diddy.” With a propensity for turning on water faucets and opening gates, the young KWPN always kept the Graves on their toes.

About a year after she returned from Costa Rica, it was time for the colt to be broke. “He was extremely difficult,” Laura recalls. “I kept going to the barn and taking lessons when I could, but there was also the part of me that was 17, 18 years old thinking this was not fun…I was very torn between thinking I could be a horse trainer and thinking I should sell him.”

Though she continued to ride, Laura went to cosmetology school and moved to Boston to work at a salon. The tide would turn, however, when the pair attended a Conrad Schumacher clinic in Connecticut. “I had previously gone with Sunny and I thought, 'Well, I'll take this other horse and see what he has to say,'” Laura remembers.

As it turned out, Schumacher told Laura that “Diddy,” as the horse’s nickname was eventually shortened to, would make her career. That night, Laura and her mother went back to their hotel and began emailing professionals in the industry. She connected with Anne Gribbons, and, in 2009, moved to Florida to work for the accomplished dressage trainer.

Fast forward to 2019, and Laura and Diddy have earned an individual silver medal and a team gold medal from the 2015 Pan American games, an individual bronze medal from the 2016 Olympic Games, and an individual silver medal and a team silver medal from the 2018 World Equestrian Games.

She credits much of her success to her unwavering ability to push through uncertainty and adversity. “I think so many people fail and then they change their focus so that it's achievable and the greatest thing I do every day is fail,” says Laura.

“You just have to get comfortable with that kind of development. If you're comfortable, you're not trying hard enough.”

Thinking back to that fateful day when Freddie first saw Ronald, Laura recognizes her mother’s determination in herself. “That's just the kind of person she is—she wanted it and she figured out a way to make it happen,” says Laura. “She's very driven and very independent. There's no doubt I get that from her.”

As originally seen in Northeast Equestrian Life